Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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