He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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