My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
