Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
