I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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