your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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