Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
