Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just gift wrapped bread.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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