After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
