you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
