I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
