Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
