no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
