Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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