They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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