would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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