Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize