oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
