There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There's even glitter on my cock...
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