Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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