I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
