best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Panties = found
Randomize
