Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize