I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
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