last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
