wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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