i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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