Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
