What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
accomplished twins. life is a go
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize