Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
