you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
