apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
