He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
