Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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