this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
