doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just made my gag reflex go away.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize