if you like me you must not know who I am
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
