Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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