have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
