Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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