Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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