i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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