I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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