Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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