So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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