3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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