spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
