I cannot find my penis.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Randomize
