he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
try to milk me bitch
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