Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
