"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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