before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize