Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
