their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she looked like the before picture.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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