yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is wine microwaveable?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
