I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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