the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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