I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
