Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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