I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
